


It's a promise (and i don't want to break it)

by damnneovelvet



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Arranged Marriage, Light Angst, M/M, Post-Break Up, repost, sort of non-linear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-25 08:47:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22133332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/damnneovelvet/pseuds/damnneovelvet
Summary: “Did you ever tell Renjun that you loved him?”Mark turned his head away from the expanse of cut grass and looked at the boy sitting across from him. His amber-like hair shone under the setting sun and he glowed. If anyone were to say that Lee Donghyuck was a child of the sun, Mark would disagree. He was the sun itself, he would say if asked.“Yes... yes, I did,” Mark said, taking the straw between his teeth.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Mark Lee, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 8
Kudos: 54





	It's a promise (and i don't want to break it)

**Author's Note:**

> This is a repost with a few additions in case you're wondering if you've read this before. Refer to notes below.

“Did you ever tell Renjun that you loved him?”

Mark turned his head away from the expanse of cut grass and looked at the boy sitting across from him. His amber-like hair shone under the setting sun and he glowed. If anyone were to say that Lee Donghyuck was a child of the sun, Mark would disagree. He was the sun itself, he would say if asked.

“Yes... yes, I did,” Mark said, taking the straw between his teeth.

Donghyuck made a humming sound. He picked up his glass, drinking the pink lemonade as if to distract himself. Mark trained his eyes on a drop of condensation that was travelling down the younger’s thin wrist. They were sitting too close for comfort, a small white table between. If they stretched their necks a little, they could see their parents discussing over wine in the next patio.

“What do you want of this alliance, Mark?”

He hadn’t noticed the dark, smoky eyes staring at him. Mark let go of the straw and bit his lip. To be honest, he wasn’t sure either. This wasn’t a regular alliance. The intensity of the discussion between his mother and Donghyuck’s ensured that. This was something important and indisputable. He took in a deep but shaky breath.

“Donghyuck, I don’t want to see this as just an alliance.”

“You are the one that’s leaving behind something. Not me. You had the chance to turn this proposal down and run away with Renjun. You didn’t. Without knowing me, without having met me… it’s a business alliance. What if I’d turned out to be someone else, not the same old Donghyuck you hung out with?” He sounded challenging and there was a tinge of bitterness at the end of his words.

Mark couldn’t refute his reasoning. He couldn’t tell him, not about the huge argument that led to a rather painful falling out with his ex-boyfriend either. He also had no explanation for why he stopped talking to Donghyuck a year into their friendship all those years ago. Things had fallen apart without reason, almost as if Mark were glue. The glue which was supposed to be strong and viscous but wasn’t; diluted to the hilt where all Mark did was hold things together till he dried. Thick dry glue is good. Thin glue though, loses purpose after a while.

“I want to be civil and peaceful. Maybe friendly again. This will not end soon.” Mark said, looking straight into Donghyuck’s eyes. They glinted in the light.

Donghyuck nodded, a small smile appearing on his lips.

“That much, I can promise. Let’s make this as memorable as possible. I don’t want to be a divorcee with bitter feelings at the end of it.” He chuckled and Mark joined. Maybe we won’t divorce at all, Mark thought and wrung his hands together on his lap.

“What about our mothers? What will we say to them?” Donghyuck asked after a beat of silence. There was visible tension in the air. Probably because they were plotting against their parents, which was questionable if they weren’t planning on separating. Probably because Mark was glad to be partnered with a relatively kind and beautiful person. Maybe because Donghyuck could feel his heart flutter every time Mark looked at him through his long lashes. In all honesty, it could as well just be the sunset and dizzying weather in the hotel lawn.

“We won’t say anything. I-” Mark coughed a little, the lemonade was cold, “I think we should keep this between ourselves. After all... I wouldn’t mind if we actually worked it out you know? I’ll gain back my snarky friend for life.”

Donghyuck opened his mouth to speak but closed it again. He looked over to where his mother sat, cradling a glass of some expensive wine and sighed. He nodded, almost unnoticeable.

“Fine then. This remains our little arrangement. I’m not going to look for anything outside this relationship as long as it lasts. Let’s try to stay together as long as possible.”

“You don’t really need to. Let’s add this—you have the right to call this entire marriage off as soon as you run into someone or something worth your time.”

The two exchanged aching smiles, unable to say anything.

If it weren’t for the awkwardness of their situation, Donghyuck would have taken Mark’s hands into his own and assured him, that this would not be a complete waste of time. It was a massive corporate alliance that would ensure that both the Lee families raked in money for the next ten generations at the smallest. It also was a warm surprise for Donghyuck who had known Mark since their days in university and the sacrifice of a blooming love between two star-crossed lovers. What a surprise it had come as, when he finally settled down and get married, it would be to the person he had given up on all those years ago. The person for whom he had stabbed his own heart from the back and had then nursed it back to health as if nothing had ever happened.

He let out a long breath, closing his eyes against the wall his life had hit.

Little did he know that whatever they were treading upon, was a line as thin as the one that separates love and hate.

\---

“Mark, this isn’t going to work anymore…” Renjun’s face was drawn and disheartened. Just a few centimetres were separating them, nothing but soft sheets and layers of warm sweaters separating them.

“Renjun…” Mark reached out and held the younger’s shoulder. He was trembling, his eyes moist. And Mark understood that they were aeons apart at that moment. Universes filled with wonder and misery distanced them, never slowing down, never allowing them near again.

“I, I can’t do this anymore. Mark, I love you, I always loved you, but this,” He slumped to one side, his hands fisting into the sheets, “It’s too much. I can’t bear the brunt of being an unacceptable husband. I want to go back to my comfort zone, to the countryside and be free. This is too...suffocating, Mark.”

“Why...Renjun you’ve never said any of this before if you had told me-”

“Told you what?” Mark’s grip on his shoulder tightened at the sharpness in his voice. “Mark...Mark I still love you but,” His voice wavered, a note of sorrow swirling in, “not the way you want it. Not the way I’d like it. It’s different, I’ve found my passions and you...aren’t one of them. I’m sorry....I’m so sorry…”

And Mark could feel it. The sincerity in his voice was like fire. Flames licked through his shell and burned away his core. He knew at that moment that things will never be the same even if he worked day and night or pulled the stars out of the sky to gain his affections once again.

He pulled him in and just hugged him tighter to his chest, endless tears in their eyes and a string of apologies being whispered between them.

Maybe, he really would have to let go this time.

\---

It would be a lie if Mark said he hadn’t thought of Renjun ever since the wedding preparations began.

He recalled that the boy had been partial towards lilies and chrysanthemums as he was dragged into a flower arrangement discussion. It was a fleeting memory from one of their discussions during dinner at a cafe. He had a meeting scheduled immediately afterwards, which left him with no option but to entrust the decisions to his parents. They were excited, for what exactly, Mark could only guess.

When they tried on suits and had them customized, it wasn’t Donghyuck that Mark had his eyes on. It was the faint image of a watery smile by the beach, promising him a lifetime filled with shells and waves. A promise that had been reduced to a careful arrangement of local shells against blue chiffon in a glass case—a wedding gift. A definitive farewell and the cause of anger that led Mark to immerse himself in paperwork to avoid all possible human interaction.

It became an endless list of signing documents, showing up for board meetings that discussed plans once Lee Tech and Support would finally collaborate with Lee Communications, attending dinners where he would be kept away from most of his peers and crashing as soon as his head hit the pillows.

\---

A younger Donghyuck would have squealed and blushed the moment he realized that the ring on his finger was put there by Mark Lee. Of course, younger Donghyuck also had flaming red hair and a leather jacket on his small and weightless shoulders. It had been when he still had the freedom to buy vinyl records and stack them in a corner of his room. When he still had the freedom to walk in the open with a bright smile adorning his face and an unscratched glass heart.

He believed it was luck when he met a student from the university, a year his senior and a well-known heartthrob.

Young Mark Lee had been a spectacle to behold with beautiful blond hair falling into his sparkling eyes, past the rim of large, round glasses. Instant bickering ensued and a friendship blossomed between them. A promise to eat together every week was made and it so transpired that Donghyuck’s heart left the boundaries set by his golden skin, into the hands of a person with a smile that outshone the sun and put the moon to shame.

“You interested in anyone?” The younger had asked one day, head upon his folded arms- eyes trained on the little shifts of Mark’s expressions.

“I met someone actually,” crackle, “at a party a few weeks ago,” crackle, “and I’ve been trying to get their attention for a while!” crackle, “They finally invited me on a date this weekend, Donghyuck, I’m so excited-” Shatter.

With three months left of the academic year, he only ever saw Mark at their spot in the cafe. That stopped when he ran into Mark and his boyfriend, sitting in his place, laughing and having a good time. On a Wednesday.

Their chat dwindled to just a few one-word messages per week and eventually died. Mark changed his phone number sometime the next year.

The indications were clear to Donghyuck. He didn’t have a place in the life of someone as marvellous as Mark. He, a coward with nothing but an inheritance to his name and a heart crushed to fine dust, would have to disappear.

He learned to live with responsibilities, with your crush hanging around places you visit every other day and a name that brought nothing but grand expectations. He grew up, holding onto the shards of glassy heart as he pieced it back. He would need it after all if he was to go out into the huge, wide world.

\---

It wasn’t long before the day arrived. He had rolled out of bed that day, convinced that he would ruin his wedding. It took a severe scolding from Taeyong and the reminder that there would be at least a thousand people attending that shook him awake. He could feel gnawing inside his chest and a dull throbbing at the back of his head.

“It’ll be fine. It’s just wedding blues. It’s going to be okay...” Taeyong kept saying every few minutes as he helped Mark into his suit, an off white with navy blue embellishments that set him on edge. Tears streamed down his cheeks unknowingly and Taeyong drew him into a tight hug.

“It’ll actually be okay. It was the same for me. I felt like throwing up until I saw Taeil waiting at the altar. It’ll be perfectly fine. You just need to be brave enough to show up. And then stay put. Don’t you dare try to run away!”

Taeyong caressed his younger brother’s hair gently, a big smile on his ethereal face. His eyes were glassy and he knew, that somewhere in a dressing room at the church, Donghyuck was sobbing and shaking too.

It took another hour to help Mark look as gentlemanly as he was, with his suit donned and hair pushed back enough so that a few stray strands fell across his forehead. It was with vehement opposition that Taeyong finally managed to get some eyeliner over a light dusting of foundation and he had never looked better. In his own opinion, he was going to die. If he did die though, he was dressed to the nines, ready to be buried. All he needed was a nice and sturdy coffin with enough room for decomposing in peace.

This was ridiculous and frustrating but it was still a day that belonged to him and Donghyuck.

It nearly brought a chuckle to his lips when he remembered how it was a Wednesday.

He had eaten dinner with Donghyuck every Wednesday during their days of friendship. It had been a ritual more than a schedule. Whether it was because it was the only day when both of them had just business class during the day or because they had first met on a Wednesday, he didn’t know. All he remembered was bickering over portions of pie, sparring forks in containers and helping each other with stacks of assignments, all the while making snide comments and laughing.

At least, he wasn’t marrying a stranger.

He was going to be bonded for life with one of his favourite people on a day that they liked to call theirs. Maybe things weren’t as bad as he thought.

He had been wrong. Very wrong.

Things were definitely bad at the moment. His heart was beating over a hundred miles an hour and his palms were clammy. The air at the altar was suffocating and he wasn’t going to blame his tight necktie for it. The priest, a kind man who went by Kun, kept smiling at him every once in a while. Maybe his distress was obvious. Or because Kun was Taeyong’s friend and the older had already warned him to hold Mark by his collar if he tried to escape.

The huge hall, decked in sunflowers and tulips of all shades, was swimming in front of his eyes. At least the flowers were an accurate representation of his soon to be husband if not someone else. Did weddings always take this long? Had he always been this way? So weak that he could barely register the faces of his parents and friends nearby. He gulped and took in a deep breath when Taeyong nudged him from behind. It was time.

Mark had read that everything else vanished when you laid eyes on the groom (or bride, you never know) and that the world paused. It was always depicted as such a glorious moment.

And it was. Not that the world stopped and every other thing disappeared.

The gasps that weren’t supposed to be audible rang clearer than ever. Every movement seemed magnified and Mark had never been so glad to see Donghyuck. The boy walked in slowly, dressed in a suit very like his own but trimmed with frills and all the details that were blue on Mark, were a gracious deep yellow. His tie had been swapped for a silk scarf and Mark, once again, couldn’t take his eyes off of him. It was a fact that Donghyuck was gorgeous and Mark agreed with it. He didn’t have a reason not to. The younger could put royalty to shame.

If Renjun had been a wondrous breeze of fresh air from the edges of an endless ocean, Donghyuck was the silent yet warm sunlight that filtered through crisp autumn leaves. A thing called ‘Komorebi’ in Japanese, he vaguely recalled.

The smiles that slid onto both of their faces were genuine and as they stared into each other’s eyes and slipped platinum bands onto their fingers, they hoped, just hoped, that these smiles would remain for a lot longer than they had planned for. Be it together or separate.

Mark wasn’t thinking much when he recited the carefully tailored vows he had memorized. The same could be said about Donghyuck, a blank haze covering his eyes as he spoke whatever he had written, word for word.

The sealing kiss was nothing more than a peck but it sufficed. It did more than what passionate kisses or starlit eyes managed to do. It tied them not just in holy matrimony or validated a legal document with their signatures on it. It brought them the strange comfort of knowing each other as the pages flipped open to another chapter in their lives.

\---

**Author's Note:**

> This was first written back in late 2018-early 2019? I tried turning it into a longer fic but I couldn't do it any justice. In my mind, this is where the narrative starts and ends. Everything that I wrote as a continuation of this dissatisfied me and even left some of the readers at the time a little empty. So this is it, a short one shot that concludes in an open ending.
> 
> In my head, the two of them overcome difficulties and over the years, become a couple that is disgustingly in love. Wishful thinking because it is open to interpretation after all. 
> 
> Thanks.


End file.
